Vampire Fools' Day
by sandstone24
Summary: How do you trick a vampire?


Not Again!

I really didn't want to go to school today. Edward was still here.

"Morning."

I dressed and collected my things this morning as fast as I could.

"Charlie was trying to figure out how to prank you today."

"Prank?"

I wondered for the first time if there was something wrong about what Edward's mind reading talent had heard.

"It's April Fools' Day."

I groaned. I hated Aprils fools' day.

"I don't do April Fools' day."

"Me neither."

That startled me. "You don't?"

"I don't like it all that much."

Finally.

"Does your family?"

"Mostly. Except for Rosalie. We've all tried to fool her, after five destroyed precious cars, we stopped. She took the jokes as attacks. She is officially off limits from April fools'." He popped me on the lips.

"See you at school."

He was gone.

Everyone in the parking lot was trying to trick each other one way or the other. Even Mr. Birdie participated in the ritual. He told everyone we had three essays this week. After groans, long faces and mouth's dropping open, he had shouted out "April Fools." Jessica told me she was going to marry Mike. My eyebrows shot up. Eric had tricked Angela. Mike had even played a trick on me, which Edward wasn't happy about. Edward had been called away to talk to the principle, right before lunch. I was shocked about that.

I walked into the cafeteria. I drifted through the room. I wasn't hungry and Edward was busy. I stood next to the Cullen table. Emmett was laughing hysterically. Rosalie was preoccupied reading a magazine.

"Emmett loves April fool's day."

Emmett had pranked everyone. Alice had pranked Jasper. Jasper didn't like April fools' day either. Not only was it in bad taste for his strategic mind, but Jasper had never gotten over, the trick played on him that entailed his vampire existence. That's how Alice had explained it. So now Alice and Emmett were the perpetrators of Aprils fools', with their patient spouses.

"I love April Fools' day." Alice bubbled. "I play a prank on Jasper every year." Jasper smiled at her.

"Has anyone ever pranked Edward?" I blurted out.

I was really curious about the pranks Edward had done. He mentioned something about pranks in the past. How do you prank a vampire?

Emmett looked irritated. "He cheats."

I blinked.

"I've tried it. It never "works.'' He said with a sour tone.

"He can read everyone's mind."

"Why try something that is impossible? It's like trying to trick Alice." Jasper kissed her affectionately.

I thought about that, a regular thing like an April fools' day in a world of vampires.

"They shouldn't be allowed to do April Fools'." Emmett grumbled.

The table had become quiet. Emmett was staring at me wide eyed. Everyone was looking at him.

"Edward can't read _your_ mind."

He said it as if he'd just been enlightened.

The fact that Edward couldn't read my mind, was something I was happy about.

"He'll know what we're all going to do except for you." He had everyone's attention now.

" Bella can tell him we're going to disappear…

"No, tell him you're going to France."

The table erupted.

"No just tell him, we all have to leave today…

"We could take his clothes again….We could switch his shoes.

"No, it has to be something Bella can do. Because she has to do it."

"No. I'm not doing it." What were they talking about?

I couldn't lie period, and I didn't want to.

"Common Bella," Emmett begged.

"This is a once in a life time chance."

I shook my head.

"We'll give you something you want."

"The one thing she wants is to become a vampire." Rosalie growled. She held up her magazine again. I was shocked to see it was a fashion magazine from the thirties.

"What if I agree to change you?" Emmett announced.

There were so many protests….. followed by the hushes of Jasper and Rosalie, as some students walked by.

"I'm already going to be one thanks."

"It will be the only time in history that a human, with our help, will be able to trick a vampire."

"What do you mean?" That caught my attention.

"You'll catch him by surprise even though you're human. It won't matter that he's a vampire or can read minds."

I thought about that.

"All right, I'll do it.''

"He'll read all of _our_ minds." Jasper tipped.

"We'll have to leave, get out of his range of hearing." Alice warned.

"We'll ditch school." "We'll do it in a second for this."

They were all so enthusiastic. Even Jasper and Rosalie were inspired.

"We better hurry."

"Where is he?"

"We'll call you on the cell phone." Emmett told me.

They were gone in a blink of an eye.

I looked around uneasy. They were gone.

"What did they want me to do?"

The cafeteria was empty now. I dropped my apple core in the trash.

Edward was behind me.

I jumped.

"Edward."

He giggled.

"What happened?" my pulse was racing.

"They wanted to know if I knew anything about the most recent incident.''

"Incident?"

"They thought I did the most recent prank ….

"What was that?"

"Someone covered the hall with cups full of water trailing the entire floor. It was difficult for any human to walk."

I tried to picture that.

"Mike newton said it was me..."

I felt outraged.. "Mike said it was you."

"I know who did it." He pointed a finger towards his head.

"Did you tell on who it was?"

"Nope … not going to violate that code" he said with an overly serious expression. "Unfortunately the perpetrator is about to be caught…. He's about to be spotted lining another hall.

The cafeteria was unusually quiet. Edward looked over at our table.

"They all just left."

He rolled his eyes. "Wonder what their up too."

Classes went by as usual. The Cullen's weren't seen again at school. Edward was given a note to give to his 'Siblings.'

At the end of the day the parking lot was devoid of them, Except for Edward.

My truck was gone.

"Edward."

His phone buzzed… He read his text aloud.

..EDWARD don't come HOMe YOULL RUIN EVRYTHING.

TeLL Bella Happy April Fools'.

"What did they do with my truck?''

"They don't want me to come home, probably because they don't want me to ruin their plans. Every decade they become more elaborate with their pranks. They took your truck as an April fool's joke."

I was glaring at the spot my truck had been.

"I'll drive you home.''

…

We got there and, there was my truck. My dad's cruiser was gone.

"Want to stay."

"I'll stay for awhile.''

There was a note in the kitchen.

 _Bella they called me in, won't be home till late. I brought home a bunch more eggs; you can have some if you want._

I looked in the refrigerator. He bought three boxes. Strange.

I was going to make myself scrambled eggs, when I discovered it.

"What's the matter Bella?''

"The eggs."

He laughed… "I guess he decided on that one."

"He hard boiled them and put them in the carton, like they were new.''

Edward's phone buzzed.

Mine did to…

My Text… . **are you safe to talk yet.**

It was hard for me to keep up the façade.

Edward read his.

"Jasper and Emmett need to talk to me urgently." He seemed annoyed. "They put my things in the bumper of your truck."

He disappeared.

I wasn't sure about this holiday. It could be a little bit deceptive.

My phone rang.

"Bella..."

"Emmett."

"Edward's out of ear shot!" Emmett remarked.

"How do you know?"

"Alice is telling us when to make contact…. Were, going to keep it simple. The things you'll need are in you truck."

"What things?"

"The instructions are there too., YOUR GOING TO DISGUISE HIS Volvo into something else."

"That's simple!"

"Edward's coming".. .I heard Alice chime in the background.

"Bye.."

My phone went dead. How was I going to do this? Edward would realize. He couldn't read my mind, but he was still a vampire.

Edward came in and put his arms around me.

"Your heart is beating " ...

"I'm fine.''

His phone buzzed.

He rolled his eyes. "Emmett and Jasper want to meet me in the mountains over an urgent matter."

"This probably has something to do with a prank. I'll go on foot."

I watched him nervously.

He kissed me. "I'll be back in just a moment."

"Your car?"

"I leave it in your hands."

He was gone.

I opened the door to my truck. There were two rolls of something pink and green, and a giant marker with a note. My eyes widened. There was a diagram.

 _Make sure everything is covered and this is written on the back._

In Alice's writing…

 _You have twenty minutes.._

The tape was pink and green.. Ugh.

I worked as fast as I could. I covered everything a saw in the paper diagram and more. I stretched my arms and stuck the tape wherever I could fit it. I even tried to make it look neat. The tape was really light and wide… Must be painters tape, I used a thinner version in high school on an art project. I used my hand to keep the tape flat and not curl up. When I was done all the windows and doors of his Volvo was covered. It didn't look shiny any more, but pink and green. I rolled my eyes at what I was supposed to write. I took the black marker and wrote on the back window that was covered with tape.

 _ **Nosferatu**_

I was in my room now. I kept peeking out the window and looking at the Volvo. I could hear the beginning of rain. I shivered. What would he think when he saw his car. He would be shocked. I layed down on the bed. I felt guilty. What would he do? I looked at the clock. It must have been twenty minutes since I looked at the note. My door flew open. I stood. Edward was standing in my door way. His hair was wet and he looked… angry. His face became expressionless.. My eyes popped wide open.

"Where are they?" He hissed.

"I don't know."

He was gone! My door was left open in his wake. Oh my God, he thought they did it. I ran down stairs. "It was me"... What was he going to do?

I ran outside into the rain. It was raining pretty hard.

"Edward."... "Edward."..

"It was me." I called out.

Edward was right in front of me now.

"It was me."

Emmett and Jasper and Alice showed up in the front of the house. They were all laughing. Edward smiled at me. And kissed me on the forehead.

"In that case, all is forgiven."

I breathed out in relief. He was laughing.

"We did it." Emmett said triumphantly.

"I was wondering how such a thing could be pulled off… well Bella could pull it off." Emmett and Jasper were laughing.

"Yes only Bella pulled it off." Edward's voice was gentle and full of pride.

Edward had asked them a little bit about how they had made their plans so strategic. Alice had admitted to her part in her warnings of Edward's location the entire time and so on, and how they kept their distance. Jasper had been quite the strategist, apparently he had used Alice's distraction in this prank to do one of his own April Fools' to her, and it had worked. She had returned to her desk to find the drawers covered with photos of herself, signed love Jasper. The Volvo had been recovered to it's rightful state. Edward had made sure of it. It was now safely under locked key.

That night Edward held me. He was in a particularly grinning mood.

"So what did, make you agree to an April fools' joke?" He asked me.

I turned red. I hid my face from him.

"Emmett told me it would be the first time in history a human would trick a vampire."

He snickered. "I thought it was something like that."

"How did you know?"

"I sensed it when they finally showed themselves.  
Emmett kept thinking about how he had had to convince you." He grinned.

"Why do you keep grinning?"

"Hum." He hummed. His phone buzzed again.

He showed me his text.

 **You'll pay for this.**

"What happened?"

"Well when I arrived to where they wanted to meet me and they were gone. I thought it was their way of pranking me today. So before I returned here I stopped at my house. I could see in Carlisle and Esme's thoughts they didn't know anything. I thought it was strange that everyone was gone. Positive that Emmett was the culprit of the appointment. I snuck into the garage and had a meeting with his Hummer."

"What did you do?"

"Emmett now has pink tires." .. And pink wind shield wipers."

My mouth dropped open.

"It will most likely take him till the morning to realize it is simply a superfluous amount of frosting."

I giggled.

"Sleep my Bella."….

….."You have a special mind."

"Sleep.".. I heard him whisper.

It was the strangest April Fools' Day I had ever had.

… and the most fun.


End file.
